Goal: Platinum on El Tour

I can't believe it.

In less than 3 weeks I'll be riding my first Tour de Tucson. I'm officially starting to get a little nervous. Why? Let me count the ways (and also grade them!!! Oh, I've missed TA'ing):

• First off, it will be the first time I've ever cycled over 100 miles. Although I can semi-convince myself now that 100 miles is just another number. I've done 94 fairly easily and gone 85 miles up and down Mt. Lemmon. The miles I'll do on El Tour should not be as difficult. If they are, then I'm doing something wrong. Like the route itself. [Nervousness Rating (NR) = 2/10]
• Stemming from that bullet point; going the wrong way. Out of 5,000 cyclists I can almost guarantee that somehow I'll be the one that strays off-course. To counteract my 'wandering nature' I'll be doing part of the course this weekend, making sure I know where the route goes. [NR? A pathetic 1/10]

• Oh! There's another point I've raised. 5,000 cyclists. Nope, I didn't just mash an extra couple of '0''s on the keyboard. I really do mean five thousand cyclists!  I'll be trying to rush past them at the start too. The first few miles could translate into 10's of minutes either way on my final time. I'll explain in a later post. [NR = 7/10]
• Crossing the washes: Problems. The race clock doesn't stop here. You've got to unclip and run across the wash carrying your bike and get back on the other side. The last one, at mile 60-odd is over a 1/4 mile run. [NR = 5/10]. I'm not a good runner. Especially with a bike on my shoulder and have cycling shoes on that provide no grip or cushioning. My goal will be just to stick with the peloton.

Crossing the wash. Arizona Daily Star

• Pressure on myself: Getting a Platinum medal. This is the goal of the race. If I manage to complete the 111 miles in under 5 hours (ave. 22.2 mph), I'll receive a platinum medal and everyone I know will be like, "Wow. You did that!?!", and will probably be followed by "You're amazing" / "Can I have your autograph?". I'd so say "Ladies, ladies... please! Not all at once". However, the [NR = 8/10]. I like to put pressure on myself, and I'll be pretty disappointed if I finish outside of 5 hours.

So adding up all the nerves, I get a top-heavy 23/10 NR. I guess that means I should be cowering under my desk right now, afraid to even take a look at the world outside my door. Good job I don't see much of it anyway as a grad student.

Milestone: The Breadth of a Nation!!!

Readers,
I'm happy to announce that as of last week, I've accumulated over 3,400 miles on the bike. That's a big milestone for me: It's enough to travel coast-to-coast across the United States!!!

Seattle to Miami (3,350 miles). Google Images

Despite not actually crossing the US by bike, this milestone still feels special to me. It illustrates the distance I've covered more than saying '3,000 miles' ever could; providing me with a clearer sense of scale, and to that extent, a heightened sense of achievement.

I'm thrilled to be able to say I've covered this distance in just under 5 1/2 months. And if you know me well enough, you'll realise I'm not quitting there. The 5,000 mile mark is next! It's just that sometimes it's good to pause and take-in these initial, 'small' accomplishments.

Here are some stats (for the stat lovers):

• 3,536 total miles
• 193 hours in the saddle
• Average speed of 18.2 mph (It's hilly in Tucson)
• 180,000 calories burnt
• 7 flat tyres
• 2 complete climbs of Mt. Lemmon
• 1 separated shoulder

Keep on ridin'! In Houston with the Saturday Ride Group. Me on the left!

Estimated Date to reach 5,000 miles? January 2012!

Endless Pasta*

*Olive Garden should note that providing this option to cyclists results in fiscal losses.

It was an easy call to make. Having cycled 94 miles and burnt something close to 5000 calories, we rolled up to the nationwide chain Olive Garden. The sky, having been beautiful an hour before, now hung low; the dense, black clouds gathered, waiting for the impending show. I didn't even need to see the menu. Kate did, so actually that kind of destroyed the focused "We don't need to see the menu" vibe, but so be it.

The reason we went to the OG? It's the title of the post, and it's only $9 (£6):

This is going to be a massacre...

I once asked a waiter and the internet what the average number of bowls consumed were. Apparently you're doing very well if you can get past your first. No wonder why they keep running this promotion. It doesn't take Rain Man to work out that's a crazy $9 a plate.

Sadly for the the OG's profit margins, a cyclist is not the average patron. The first bowl was ordered, and soon came out. Penne and an alfredo sauce with mushrooms and peppers. It had great flavour and was awesomely creamy, but sadly for the OG once again, all this meant was that it got devoured faster by my monster appetite. It was over in less than 5 minutes; the pasta putting up a next-to-nothing fight, just like Arizona football 1. OHHHH SNAP! The waitress was a little surprised and probably thought I had put half the plate down my shirt. I gave off a 'I never waste pasta, so don't even think it' look and upon realising this, she happily asked if I wanted another one.

"Yes please."

She rushed off to the kitchen. The second bowl came out 5 minutes later and I once again went to town. It was gone in another 5 minutes. I don't even remember what the sauce was. I was too far in the zone now. I ordered a third. It was only then that I looked over at my fellow cyclist: Kate had barely made a dent in her plate. She fell for the 5 cheese, protein extravaganza and was paying the price. I said something like "Oh never mind, you made a good effort", but that was a facade. Inside I was shaking my head. A rookie error had spelled defeat, and all that was left was for her to admit it and ask for a doggy bag; the diner's white flag.

Defeat is never pretty, but sometimes it's damn cute. (Photo from szrhnd on flickr)

It might have been a social obligation to politely finish with her, saying that I too had had enough, and leave the restaurant. Not me though. The third came up, and was soon put down.

Same with the forth.

Same with the fifth.

By now the waitress was wondering how a 150 pound man could eat this much pasta. She might also have been getting frustrated that she was having to go to the kitchen so many times to order more bowls. But I'm afraid that's OG's fault, I wish I could order more than one at a go. It's forbidden.  Also I'd been noticing a trend with the bowls as they came out. Each one had been getting progressively hotter in temperature. The fifth was piping hot, meaning it took me far longer to eat. I think the waitress sensed my weakness and went for the kill as I ordered the 6th.


They must have superheated the sauce, because this horseshit was well above 100 C. I even let it sit for a couple of minutes before finally giving into temptation and eating it. Wow! After two bites I couldn't feel my mouth anymore, but I was determined to finish the bowl. It was a painful 10, maybe even 15 minutes, as I somehow got through it. Enough was enough though; any thoughts of a 7th bowl was truly extinguished when I thought the next sauce up would have the ability to cauterise my tongue. 6 was a solid effort ($1.50 a bowl).


We paid up and then wandered over to REI where we got told off for putting on all the ski goggles when we obviously had no intention of buying them. But that's a different story.


The bottom line is that this is how the Olive Garden gets you to stop. They bring the heat. 

...Bastards

1 Can someone please give me an American sporting-reference "HELL YEAH"!?!