My Frustration with Craigslist

So since I've been back I've been looking for a touring bike for BC, and as a secondary role, a commuter for AZ. I don't fancy using my actual road bike unless I absolutely have to (due to problems with spokes / frame breaking under a loaded weight). So I've started by looking on Craigslist. And after 3 days, I'm seriously fed up with looking on Craigslist.

I've been looking at prices between $50 - $250, and searching for 'road bike' or 'touring bike'. Now in my (albeit slightly naive) book this appears to be a pretty standard way of finding either road or touring bikes between, say, $50 and $250. However, I clearly must not understand the complexities of CL's search bar, because it appears I've been searching for overpriced filth. Honestly, the quality of results I've received back could choke a mule:

After 3 days of searching, I thought nothing could shock me anymore. Then I found the tin food, priced at $80 in the Tucson Bike section

WTF Tucson!?! Is my best option really the kids bike!?! Although, if we put a positive twist on things, it does have stabilisers meaning my mum won't worry about me falling off and it's accompanied by a neat paint job. In the picture I can't quite see the gear ratios, but I'm sure it's a barbie standard.

Please don't make me search anymore...