$800: How I had, lost, fought, and regained it.

This has little to do with the BC tour, except in the sense that as of right now I can fund myself again. Oh, and how now that $200 hammock doesn't seem expensive at all. I guess it is an important aspect of any tour; do we have the funds required?

Now I'm not saying that $800 will get me all the way there and back, but it'll sure help. Nor am I saying I actually physically fought for the money on some street. It's nothing that exciting or violent, yet street-fighting for it may have been easier.

NOTICE: If you're only interested in cycling, and not my messed up life, Congrats! You've finished this post. If others want to hear how I totally bullied a large housing company into submission, read on gentle reader:

It's about my apartment complex in Houston, and how these soulless individuals in charge want to take my money, change it into $1 bills, and rub it all over their naked bodies. Sick I know. It all started on Monday when I got a call saying that my move-out was the 28th August, when in fact my lease ends on the 8th August. Confusion erupted, and it took a while to realise what they were telling me. Apparently my move-out notice was late. I told them they must be mistaken; I handed my notice in 40 days before I wanted to move out. This was the kicker: they told me notice was due 60 days in advance. Now this seemed crazy to me. I have an apartment for 3 months and you want me to tell you 2 months in advance that I'm moving out. I should have just wrote to them that first day! They kept telling me that it was 'industry standard'. I kept saying 'this is a scam'. The next 10 minutes followed a similar dialogue.

So the end result was this; 1) I owed another 20 days rent ($800), 2) They weren't nice people and so weren't going to let me go early, despite a reasonable 40 day notice, and 3) apparently there was nothing I could do about it.

I beg to differ.

I brought up the lease and pretended that I was a lawyer. A great lawyer. I felt like Tom Cruise in 'A Few Good Men', determined to find a 'code red'. And boy did I find it! It mentioned in the lease that they had to give me notice of my notice (confused yet?), and if they didn't, then 30 days notice would be all that's required. You may have guessed, but I received no notice.

Imagine these gestures over the phone. I was Tom Cruise. The company was Jack Nicholson.

Tuesday rolls around (today). By now I should mention that a lot of money has been taken out of my account because I'm not due to leave until the 28th. I phoned them and voiced my findings. I got a variety of excuses: 1) "Oh, that's a courtesy notice, we don't have to give you that". LIE 1. 2) "We sent you an email". A moot point. In the lease it clearly says 'written notice' and that emails don't count as written.

They went back and forth on these two arguements, until they thought up another one: 3) "It's not fair. Other people have been in this situation, and had to pay it, so we can't give you the money". This one really pissed me off.

I politely told her that she was useless, and wanted to speak to her manager. She accepted. I mention all this again (I'm skipping to the chase), but the manager said an identical thing. This is where I really got clever:

Statement 1:
"I find it really interesting that other people are in a similar situation and don't realise they're exempt due to what's written in the lease. I think it would be very interesting if someone mentioned this to them, because you know, they're all on these apartment websites, so it's really easy to get a hold of them".

Statement 2:
"You can reach me at work through this landline, but sometimes it doesn't connect correctly. I guess that's what happens within a really big corporation like ConocoPhillips".

Statement 3:
"I don't want to bad-mouth this apartment company, but let's just say I'm in recruiting and I refer a lot of people to various housing complexes within Houston. I'd hate to have to say don't go to your one". OK, so that last one was a lie, but I was on a roll!

She responded: "OK, what is it you exactly want again?"
Me: "To amicably resolve this situation, without it having to go further" (Code for: "Give my goddamn money back")
Manager: "OK, I'll call my lawyer and give you a call back".

Five Minutes Later:
"OK, as a gesture of kindness we're going to end your lease on the 8th"

And that's how I had, lost, fought for and regained my $800.